Karl Rove “hearts” President Obama; Muslim families enjoy amusement park hot dogs; Phyllis Schlafly is still alive; and the South is, apparently, the laziest region in ‘Murka. Who knew?

It’s all part of boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy in the land of the free and the home of the raves!

In an op-ed piece published in the Wall Street Urinal, former G.W. Bush hatchet man and puppet-master Karl Rove lets us know he thinks President Obama is doing a pretty darn good job in Afghanistan.

“Mr. Obama has acted impressively so far on Afghanistan,” wrote the man affectionately known as Turd Blossom, by the ever articulate 44st POTUS.

Either the meds are finally working or this tell us all we need to know about how wrong is our currently policy in the land that time forgot.

Not that we should expect anything different, I guess, but the right-wing nut jobs are all cranked out now over the Six Flags amusement park chain setting aside a special day for Muslim families to be amused by roller coasters and log plume rides.

Hey, wing nuts! Muslims need thrills, too!

But, oh no, not according to Annie Hamilton of the Tea Party Patriots website:

“Muslim Day at Six Flags is inappropriate for a multitude of reasons and I'm saddened and shocked by the ignorance of the corporate folks and by the action that now must be taken by the rest of us,” she wrote.

According to a press release issued by Six Flags, Ms. Hamilton misunderstood.

“We are not celebrating Muslim Day,” said the Six Flags spokesman. “We’re celebrating ‘muslin day,’ and asking everyone to wear for their comfort loosely woven cotton fabric.

No, just kidding. Six Flags really will host – as it as every year since 2000 – a special day for Muslim Families, sponsored by the Islamic Circle of North America. This year, Six Flags Muslim Family Day falls on September 12, which is what has Hamilton so upset…for some reason.

“Islam is as Islam does,” wrote Hamilton.

But, according to Hamilton and her Tea Party buddies, what Islam shouldn’t do is be allowed to ride the Medusa or the Titan or the Raging Bull or the Bazarro, the later obviously being saved for Ms. Hamilton and her fellow baggers.

Who knew Phyllis Schlafly was still alive? Or relevant?

Well, apparently, she is; at least alive, not sure about relevant. But that didn’t keep her from pointing out how unmarried women are the single biggest problem in ‘Murka.

"Unmarried women, 70% of unmarried women, voted for Obama, and this is because when you kick your husband out, you've got to have big brother government to be your provider," Schlafly recently told a fund-raiser for her Eagle Forum crotchety old women’s organization.

She went on to make some remark about battery-operated-boyfriends but, like her, that’s irrelevant here.

Finally, ever wonder where the laziest people live in the US of A? The answer is not the U.S. Senate – the most timid, perhaps.

The laziest people live in the South, according to Bloomberg Business Week, which ranked Louisiana as the laziest state…you know, when they’re not raking oil off their beaches and marshes.

Mississippi comes in as the second laziest state followed by Arkansas in third. Rounding out the rest of the Top five in order: North Carolina, Tennessee & Kentucky.

Ha-Ha-Ha…but the Yankees at Bloomberg Business Week misinterpret the survey data! These folks ain’t lazy, they’re just getting’ ‘round to it…eventually.

BREAKING NEWS: Here, on the 100th day of the Gulf Oil Disaster, the New York Times announces the Gulf is all good now. Nothing to see...move along...go on about your business...thanks for playin'.

Gee, who knew it would be so easy?

So…Rally ‘round all you God-fearin’ Bumper-Sticker ‘Murkins!

We are withdrawin’ from the Republicans! We are withdrawin’ from the Democrats! We are withdrawin’ from the Libertarians and the Teabaggers and the Green Party and, especially, the Presbyterians!

We are withdrawin’ from the Independents!

Wait…do the independents have an organization? Do the anarchists have an organization?

Nevermind…We’re startin’ our own movement to lead us further into the deep abyss known as peaceful, absolute and irrefutiadable IG-NURNCE!

That’s right, boyz & girlz, we the unknowing, led by the unwilling…or sumpthin’ like that…are takin’ matters into our hands! Hizzah!! More Sugar!!

This is why our country was founded on the principles of freedom and tolerance and expression and respect for each other! This is why we go to church every dang Sunday to learn about love – ‘cause we’re sick of THOSE people!!

We are today announcing the newest political movement in ‘Murka – and, by golly, only ‘Murkins can join!

The Decidedly Uninformed Mostly-Bubbas Assigned to Sectarian Slobbering, or D.U.M.B.A.S.S, will make the teabaggers look like the WCTU on Decoration Day, all fluffy and sweaty in them flowerdy hats and polyester moo-moos!

And we’re announcing our list of charter members, so honored for their enormous contributions to an egalitarian society where mutual respect is cherished above all else, just as the Baby Jesus intended this great country to be…stand for…whatever.

Now that Tony Hayward has is life back from BP and the great sludge pit that was once the Gulf of Mexico, he will be our leader. Plus, we can use the $18 million he gets from his outstanding leadership in service to the customers and shareholders of Butt Plugs.

Sarah Palin, just ‘cause she’s got the legs for it and any organization needs a good wordsmith.

Tennessee Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey, a Republican candidate for governor, showing us the way by explaining that Islam is “more a cult than it is a faith.”

“Now, you could even argue whether being a Muslim is actually a religion, or is it a nationality, way of life, cult whatever you want to call it,” Ramsey said. “Now certainly we do protect our religions, but at the same time this is something we are going to have to face.”

And with him, we’ll bring the Rev. Allen Jackson, pastor of the World Outreach Church in Murfreesboro, TN., for fighting to keep a mosque out of walkin’ horse country.

“We have a duty to investigate anyone under the banner of Islam,”  said Rev. Jackson.

And while, we’re at it, we’ll include another world outreach, the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida which plans to celebrate September 11th this year by burning a copy of the Holy Koran. You’ll be able to pick ‘em out. They’ll be the ones wearing the, “Islam is of the Devil” T-shirts underneath their overalls.

And then, of course, we must have Dan Amato of Pennsylvania, better known to the blogosphere as, “Digger.”

Dan the Digger dug up a stop-the-presses story about drug cartels crossing the border to seize and occupy two ranches near Laredo, Texas.

The only problem with the story was…well, how do we put this…it was completely made up! Just one more effort to scare good God-fearin’ Bumper-Sticker ‘Murkins about the brown threat coming up from Mexico.

Black, brown, almond-mocha, prayin’ differently…it doesn’t matter. Because as D.U.M.B.A.S.S…es…we know: if it ain’t white it ain’t righ t!

“And the peloton has entered Paris, riding along the Seine. They can see the Eiffel Tower now and what a glorious sight that is; Lance Armstrong in his 13th and final appearance on Le Champs Elysees; seven Tour victories, a feat that may never again be matched…

“Oh, wait…this just in…

“A crap-load of secret documents has just been released on the Internet which suggests war sucks generally and the war in Afghanistan sucks even more than we already know…

“…and Alberto Contador will take his third Le Tour de France victory in four years.”

Really? The war in Afghanistan is going badly? War is insane and a shame on humanity? No kidding?

The revelations released Sunday on Wikileaks and covered ad naseum by the New York Times, the Guardian of London & Der Spiegel tell us much we already knew: the Taliban is a strong force in Afghanistan; the Pakistani spy corps, the ISI, may actually be helping the Taliban; the U.S. is using more drone missiles that we let on…and…

…oh yea…who’s idea was it, anyway, to start a war in a country history shows has always repelled invaders?

Well, it was our idea – the American people’s idea. Oh sure, we were goaded into by a gung-ho president and congress – and, especially, the some of the world’s greatest news organizations.

You’ll recall a butch of thugs based in Afghanistan launched an amazing and horrible attack on the U.S. back in 2001 using hijack commercial airliners to crash into New York and Washington. It was hell, the worst attack every on the United States.

Thugs pulled this off; a relatively small band of thugs. The U.S. had to respond in kind. Don’t stop to try to understand what led to this attack. Don’t try to figure out why the band of thugs hated us so much. No time for that. By golly, we’d been hit and we had to hit back.

You know, “whoever slaps you on the right check, turn around and slap the crap out of ‘em.”

Rather than pursuing a smart police action, rounding up the criminals in Afghanistan, we decided to launch a full scale war. Then we decided that wasn’t enough. We had to launch another full scale war on another country that didn’t have anything at all to do with the attacks in 2001.

Makes perfect sense.

We did such a good job in Vietnam we just had to try it again. The Soviet Union had such great success in Afghanistan in the 1980s, we just had to do ‘em one better and show ‘em how you really crush an enemy.

The Wikileaks, NY Times. Guardian & Der Spiegel examination of the secret documents on Afghanistan tell us the war is really bad. Thanks for letting us know.

Violence begets violence. Maybe that’s where we really excel!

Memo to God of Abraham:

CC: Buddha

Maybe you outa give up on trying to make us learn the ways of peace. We ain’t listenin’.

As (Tropical Storm) Bonnie lies over the ocean…headed for South Florida and, over the weekend, the Gulf of Mexico, the oil spill site and Looziana, it gives one pause to consider bullies.

Tropical storms and hurricanes are meteorological bullies.

The only difference between hurricanes and human bullies is hurricanes can do real damage.

Human bullies are usually just thugs; insecure brats who act out because of deep, empty holes in their souls. They only time they do any real damage is if they actually gain some sort of power: political or financial.

Think dictators, fascists, greedy money traders, giant corporations, oligarchs, plutarchs.

American political history is rife with bullies. The corporate barons of the gilded age, come to mind; Sen. Joe McCarthy. Father Charles Caughlin was the first political bully of the mass communications age. These were all 20 th Century phenomena.

This current crop of bullies in the 21 st Century is no different, really. Sure, they have their own network at Fox. But they’re really no different than any others in history.

Limbaugh, Beck, Ingram, Breitbart, Hannity, Ingram, Savage, O’Reilly…they’re all just bullies. They make a lot of money, of course, because heavy corporate interests use them to advance the agenda of middle-class destruction and wealth distribution – up to the wealthy and corporate interests.

But they’re really just bullies. This Breitbart thug and his cronies at Fox did some real damage this week, bullying the Obama Administration, the NAACP and a fine public servant, Shirley Sherrod. But they’ve done it before. Think Van Jones, ACORN.

It’s a shameful history repeating itself.

FDR had his bully faction to deal with (Not to be confused with TR’s bully pulpit!)

FDR had the American Liberty League. Formed in 1934, the Liberty League was funded by the Dupont Family and their corporate buddies to oppose labor unions and FDR’s New Deal policies.

Supporters included U.S. Steel, General Motors, General Foods, Standard Oil, Colgate, Heinz Foods, Chase National Bank, Goodyear Tire and Rubber and many other corporate giants of the day.

The league rallied support for the conservative-dominated U.S. Supreme Court to overturn FDR’s agenda (Remember the court-packing episode in FDR’s tenure?)

The only difference between then and now is that many of the prominent leaguers were Democrats. Al Smith, the Democratic nominee for president in 1928 was a leader, as was Dean Acheson, who would become Harry Truman’s Secretary of State, and 1924 Democratic nominee John W. Davis.

The effort died out in 1940. The greater good at the time was served so much better by FDR’s reforms and actions than by continued greed.

But the message was much the same then as now: “defend and uphold the Constitution, lower taxes, more freedom.” Hollow bromides masking the real intent: power to exploit.

They certainly had their way, got much of what they wanted during the Bush years. Now, we’re cleaning up the mess – financial calamity, oil in the Gulf of Mexico, two needless wars, massive federal debt.

The bullies of today would rather we keep the mess. It’s easier to exploit a society in shock and chaos.

The only thing more pathetic than white folks whining about charges of racism is Christians whining about Muslims wanting to build a mosque.

And, very often, it’s the same whiners whining about both!

Grow up, people. You are not the only ones on this planet and you don’t have all the answers.

It never ceases to be amazing how white people react with such venom when anyone points out obvious racism.

Some redneck spits, “Obama plan: white slavery!”

Someone else points out the obvious.

Then some other redneck says, “Why that’s racism, accusing me of racism. You racist!”

Ha-ha-ha! It’s almost laughable, really…except it’s so sad.

The NAACP calls out the obvious racism of TeaParty chants and signs and messages and the teabaggers get their lily white noses outa joint and say, “it’s racist to call us racists.”

The next thing you know some right-wing kook with a blog and TV show puts out a video tape of a USDA official – who just oh so coincidentally happens to be African-American – and gets the NAACP all twisted up and playing defense.

By this time, the racists are demanding today’s equivalent of a lynching as sacrifice to the white power structure and the USDA official is fired.

Oh…but, gosh, who could have seen this coming? The racists edited the tape, told a big ol’ whopping bald-faced lie and now everyone is sorry and the USDA is taking everything back. Sorry. Our bad.

“They just want to stir up some trouble, it seems to me in my opinion,” said a humble Georgia white farmer of the right-wing attempts to seek retribution against African-American public servants.

“Stir up trouble.” That’s the age-old tactic for fighting back from a place of cowardice.

And racists are world-class cowards.

So are fundamentalist Christians and Bumper-Sticker ‘Murkins who get outa joint about Muslims wanting to build an Islamic Center in Manhattan, near the former site of the World Trade Towers and everyone goes postal. Sad.

Oh…but wait…this just in…

Maybe there IS something more pathetic than all that. It’s the Florida Legislature!

The Republican majority Legislature took less than an hour on Tuesday to tell former Republican Gov. Chain Gang Charlie Crist to take his proposed offshore oil drilling ban and stick down the Deepwater Horizon drill hole.

Crist, now an independent and running for the U.S. Senate, called the lawmakers to Tallahassee for the express purpose of drafting a constitutional amendment for Sunshine State voters that would have, if adopted on the ballot in November, placed a permanent ban on oil drilling in Florida waters.

No matter that over 70 percent of Florida voters favor an oil drilling ban, the Republican majority in the legislature was having nothing to do with impeding the ability of Big Oil to foul the coasts.

Well, that and the fact that oil barons gave legislators nearly $300,000 between January 2009 and March 2010…with an additional $185,000 to the Florida GOBP. (And, for the record, $77,000 to the Florida Democratic Party.)

Miffed that Crist continues to lead the U.S. Senate race even after they kicked him out of the GOBP, the Republicans in the legislature said the special session was “because of politics.” Imagine that.

Florida’s Chief Financial Officer Alex Sink, the leading Democratic candidate to replace Crist at the governor’s mansion called the legislature, “a complete failure.”

“Instead of action, the tone deaf Florida Legislature has been twiddling their thumbs,” she said, pointing out the lawmakers should have also addressed the severe economic hits taken by people and businesses in the Florida Panhandle because of the oil spill.

I hereby refudiate anything posted hereafterwith…also, too.

Sarah Palin, the former half-governor of Alaska, which can see Russia from its front porch, may be on to something.

We’ve become a nation of such intellectual giants we can only hope, now, to elect presidents in the future based on the number and obsequiousness of words we completely make up.

Forget writing books – I mean really writing books, not having someone else write it. No more, Profiles in Courage. Forget about, The Audacity of Hope.

We’re talking, here, about the audacity of dopes. We’ll just make up words, apply them with malapropitude and may be best mangler win!

This is why Palin is tied with – or maybe even leading - President Obama in 2012 polls.

Make up words! Dazzle the Dilberts with shiny syntactical objects! Go ahead, you have the legs for it!

Performing magic tricks on the Faux News tee vee box show with Shame Humanity, Palindrome suggested the President should REFUDIATE the NAACP (or, maybe, the NCAA) for suggesting the racist TeaParty is racist.

Within moments, the blogosphere and twitscape were ablaze with chortles and guffaws (“Have you been injured in a humorous accident? Call the law firm of Chortles & Guffaws, LLP)

Realizing linguistic lapse, after a while, Palin tried to distance herself from the gaff.

Ha-Ha-Ha, no she didn’t.

She chose to compare herself to Billy Shakespeare – who was also elected president by making up words - right after he invented the fishing pole:

"Refudiate," "misunderestimate," "wee-wee'd up." English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!, she Tweeted.

So, with all the refugnance due the intellectual leader of the Refublican Party, she will refulse any grandiosity toward resfect for the English language of which she speaks and move our refublic toward a refroachful refrobation of refulsive refose.

After all, who needs any intellect to be president? Not the Refublican Party! (See: 2000 to 2008)

President Obama would do well to heed the warnings and begin immediately a program of language mutilation in he hopes to have any chance at all in 2012 with the half-wits.

Even though he doesn’t have the legs for it.

The oil gusher on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico is capped and Washington is rattled by an earthquake.

Coincidence?

Hmmm….Did passage of a Wall Street reform bill play any role in any of this? (Maybe it would have if any real reform had been passed.)

Hmmm…did anyone ever see Ringo Starr and Yasser Arafat in the same room at the same time?

Did someone forget to tell HTC-Columbia’s Mark Renshaw there is NO HEAD-BUTTING in Le Tour de France?

All thanks and praise be to Glenn Beck for revealing to us that politically progressive people are enemies of God.

“The word was, ‘hot dog.’ And we ate it!” – Pastor Rod Flash.

Back in D.C. the both Republicans and Democrats were quick to…wait for it…find fault with each other in the earthquake. (Credit: @DCDebbie)

Fox News found the fault lay in the Black Panthers Movement…of the 1960s.

As U2 once suggested: shake, rattle and hmmm…

Thank heavens, the Teabaggers were quick to deny any and all racism in the racist tea party rants such as those from teabag leader Mark Williams who posted on his blog, MarkTalk.com, a whimsical imaginary letter from the NAACP to President Lincoln:

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We   [National Association for the Advancement of]   Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing.  Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards.  That is just far too much to ask of us   [National Association for the Advancement of]   Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week.  We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

…rant…rant…rant…taxes…tea parties not racist…taxes…rant…whatever…

…Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever.  We had a great gig.  Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by someone else.  Please repeal the 13 th   and 14 thAmendments and let us get back to where we say that belong.

Sincerely

Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew,  National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Head Colored Person

Nope, no racism in that at all.

Just can’t imagine where folks come up with the idea these right-wing fascists are racists.

And morons.